I have been reading an article from the Focus on the Family website regarding Commitment in marriages. I wrote a little about this article in this post here. To highlight some of the information these are some of the thought provoking words from the author Shaunti Feldhahn:
+ Commitment is a decision to have the abundant marriage God desires, regardless of circumstances or whether you think your spouse is doing his or her part. This includes: > Realizing that marriage is an unbreakable covenant before God > Choosing to “do it until you feel it.” > Focusing on the good in our spouse and the sin in ourselves instead of the other way around > Engaging in Christian community, prayer and discipleship especially when you don’t want to > Relying on God to help you act selflessly toward your spouse
+ Chose to make wise decisions. Don’t rely on feelings or emotions when the going gets tough. Our feelings don’t carry us to the right dcisions; rather right decisions carry us to right emotions – and positive rewards. Here are a few ways you can exercise your will over your emotions; Decide to take “divorce” out of your dictionary > Decide to choose joy (If you go looking for happiness as the goal, you’ll never find it, because you have no control over circumstance and you don’t have control over your spouse. But you do have control over yourself and your emotions. If you choose joy, soon you will find you have it) > Decide to be the best (Both spouses can’t just wait it out to see who will step up to the plate and be the bigger, better person. Someone has to choose to serve the other in love first)
+ We live in a “maybe I do” world. There’s a big difference between “I do” and “maybe I do”. When marriage gets tough, and it will at some point, you need the assurance that I chose this; I’m going to do whatever it takes to make it work. Otherwise, it’s too easy to say to yourself, I never really signed on for this.
+ Only with Christ at the center of our marriage, at the center of our home, at the center of everything we do, can we experience the greatest joy and fulfillment possible. It is Christ alone who gives us the power to love others this way.
Colossians 3:12-14 “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
“We do” for better or for worse …
… no matter how exhausting marriage can be : )