This week I went back to work. Going back to work seems like the right and only thing to do to supplement our income and fill a financial gap that needs to be filled. I will only be working one night shift each week which is very manageable. I was very hesitant about going back to work because I didn’t want another thing on my plate and since my job is not a mindless job I knew it would be quite taxing even if only one night a week. But I am trusting the Lord to provide for me what I need by means of energy, strength, patience, trust and even knowledge for my profession and for running my home and homeschooling.
I have had numerous thoughts back at work this week. Let me just begin by saying I am a Registered Nurse with a Bachelor’s. I spent 5 long and very hard years at a great University getting my degree and I worked very hard for 4 years with my degree before I entered the arena of a stay at home mom and a homeschool teacher and have since been back and forth with working a little here and there for financial reasons. I absolutely love nursing because of this. When I go back to work it’s not Mon-Fri 9-5 and there goes our life. There are so many different areas of nursing and different schedules and different shift requirements. How many professions will allow you to work one night a week? When I am not working I struggle with my desire to be a nurse. I believe God brought that to my life and has gifted me in certain areas to be a good nurse and has maintained a desire in me to be a nurse. But it seems in the stay at home/homeschool world that it can be very frowned upon to work outside of the home. I have found opinions all across the spectrum but it seems more often than not there is a “oh I’m sorry” type of response if a mom talks about their work outside of the home. Because of this I felt a lot of guilt when I would even think about working and working because I wanted to instead of because I needed to. I don’t want to work to get a “break” from my kids or “do something for myself finally”. Although at this point in our lives I don’t get to go out and do much on my own as my children are with me all day every day every where I go (which is not a bad thing but it is true that for sanity purposes a mom does need a good coffee date with a friend once in a while or a date night with the husband or just a quick solo grocery trip).
I actually love being a nurse. I worked very hard to have the privilege to walk through the hospital with a stethescope around my neck and a badge clipped to my scrubs and to enter into the very personal lives of my patients and be there for them in ways more than medicine can define. And it is a privilege. It is not a right I received because I hold a degree… it is a privilege. This is my third time starting a new job in a new hospital with all the ooohs and aaahs of a new place and this is my second time going back to work after a period of being home full time and one thing never leaves me… this feeling as I walk through the hospital floors and enter various departments and pull medications out for my patients and touch very important medical equipment and devices that are saving the lives of these beautiful souls God created (some in the moment may not seem so beautiful but they are nonetheless God’s creation!) and it always hits me what a privilege it is! How thankful I am! Not just anyone off the street can walk through these halls and touch these things and know what’s happening. It is an honor and a privilege. I love being a nurse. I love being granted this privilege. I get butterflies in my stomach when I hear medical talk or get to assess a patient and get to see some amazing life changing medical procedures… even something as simple as an IV line.
I am so blessed and so thankful for what God has provided for me. I am so thankful that my parents instilled in me the importance of a good education and what a blessing that God used them to financially provide for me to attend a great University to get a really good education in this field. What a blessing that God showed me early in my life (and actually before I knew Him personally) that I wanted to be a nurse so I could enter straight into it before marriage and before kids and focus solely on it. I am so thankful I took that route that God provided for me so I wouldn’t have to balance family, work and school in my later years.
I am truly blessed and thankful and it is a great privilege to be a nurse.